Not too long ago, I was out with an American who had just arrived in Thailand. While giving the obligatory night market tour, I recommended a nearby Indian place that is slightly overpriced but damn good. He scrunched his face up like a five-year-old and said: “Indian food is gross dude. Look, a McDonald’s! No way! I could totally go for a big mac!” It would be nice to take a detour to snarktown at this point and rant about ignorant Americans, but unfortunately I have a dirty Fast Food vs. Indian Food history of my own.
I sold a car to this Indian dude when I was 18 or 19. I got him a pretty good deal because I needed one more car out for the month to get a bonus and he was a ruthless Indian haggling machine.
At one point during the negotiations, he offered me free food at his restaurant – going so far as to say (probably for effect) that he wouldn’t sign the contract unless I agreed to come by for dinner on a regular basis.
We eventually settled on a number, but there was some temporary hangup with his loan and I put him out in a demo for the night to make sure he would come back the next day so we could close. The finance manager had me follow the guy to his restaurant to get some tax returns or something so we could re-submit his loan application early the next morning. While the guy was gathering the documents, he had his daughter make me a big to-go box of Indian food.
Being a 19-year-old redneck/yo-boy used car salesman who thought Indian food smelled like 5 -week-old dead baby fetuses, I tossed it in the dumpster behind the dealership when I got back to work. I stopped at McDonald’s that night on the way home for a combo meal instead.
The guy came in the next day and took delivery of a his car, but I never went back to his restaurant. If I could go back in time and punch myself in the face, I would, because Indian food is incredible. It even smells incredible if you have smelled something other than American fast food. Of course, I had to get away from the states for a bit to discover that. I guess some people never learn.
