I often talk up the finer perks of being awesome at life. But can being awesome at life, save your life?
Yes. Yes it can.
I laid my motorcycle down in a busy intersection today, narrowly skirting death as I skid through a red light at about 35mph.
Due to the somewhat gay design of my bike, (think vespa meets CBR) I was however, able to use my general badass skills to swing my legs through the middle of the bike as I laid it down while quasi-surfing (read: clinging to) the bike for the first, and most abrasive 8-10 feet. Just when I thought I was going to pull off the greatest death defying stunt of my carreer, I clipped the back wheel of another motorcyclist and went flying. About 15 feet later, I stood up, took a few breaths and checked out my legs.
After making sure nothing was broken, I checked on the other rider, who was shook up but luckily not hurt. I collected my flipflops, backpack and bike from the middle of the road, which was probably dumb since I had a pretty nasty cut on my foot.
About 10 people stood on the side of the road staring at me like I was from another planet, and I had to walk into a restaurant to find something to stop the gash on my foot from bleeding. I can’t say I blame them. It’s not every day in Chiang Mai that you see a white guy skidding through an intersection, practically sitting on an overturned motorcycle screaming “FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK!!!”
Someone called an ambulance, but a particularly helpful and kind woman emerged from the crowd and offered that there was a hospital about 200m down the road.
The “hospital” ended up being a clinic/pharmacy, but the doctor, a 71 year old man who spoke to me at length about the human potential to live to be 160, had my foot sewed up and my road rash washed out in no time.
40 dollars, without insurance.
Then it was on to the police station, where I paid the guy I hit what could best be referred to as “white tax”. He was fine, and his bike was fine, but because I’m a foreigner I had to pay him 1000 baht. I then paid the Thai government a 400 baht fine, and was written a citation for “not carefully!!” according to the issuing officer. He was stern, but warm in a fatherly way.
My "Not Carefully!!" Ticket
Finally, I swung by my friends house to check on getting my rented bike repaired, and was relieved to find out that she knew of a body shop, where I basicly got a new front end for my bike, new handlebars, a new side view mirror, and even the rental company sticker transfered over to make it look good as new. At about 55 dollars, it was way cheaper than the 8,000,000 dollars the vultures at the bike shop probably would have charged me, and I made some new friends.
A souvenir.
Matrix like reflexes and general badassery saved me this time… but I feel blessed to be alive, with only a few stiches in my feet, some bruises on my hip and some road rash on my ankle and right elbow to show for the accident. In the words of the Thai woman who helped me all the way to the hospital AND came with me to the police station to make sure I didn’t get screwed over… “I see you crash, I think, he dead!! But you no dead, you lucky!”
Lucky indeed. Friendly, loving Thai people + near death experience + increased badassery = most interesting day I’ve had in a while, and food for thought.
Thanks, life.
