We’re Not Scare Mongering…

Yes, you are. How the media, not PAD, is ruining Thailand’s tourist industry.

Look out! They have flags!!!

 

Here is an article that is typical of how the Media has been covering the situation in Thailand. 

Pay particular attention to the sub-headline, the part that starts “Fears of Widespread Violence Grow…”

Ok, Widespread? By widespread does the author mean, more than a few hundred square feet? More than a few blocks of an isolated area that has been cordoned off by Thai police for over a week? 

That’s not to say that his hasn’t been a dangerous week to be a politically active Thai in Bangkok. Dozens of protesters were injured in a blast earlier today, bringing the injured count to well over a hundred since this mess started. They truely have my sympathy.

But dangerous for tourists? Please. They get no sympathy from me, nor should they from you. The situation in Thailand is about as dangerous for Farangs as the LA riots were for Thai people visiting relatives in Beverly Hills, or Thai tourists visiting the space needle during the WTO protests in Seattle in 1999. 

Of course, this isn’t counting the bleeding heart Farang who is bound to make international headlines and ruin the tourist industry here for good when he shows up dead on the front page of The Nation, sprawled on the pavement clad in a Yellow PAD shirt. Some white douche who thinks he is Thai WILL shove his nose in the political situation and probably get hurt. You will probably see something on the news about a reporter, or some Thai girl’s farang boyfriend getting tear-gassed. Cry me a river.

I’ll save my tears for the 8 Thais that have died fighting to save their country.

Let’s keep some perspective, however. According to the US Department of Justice, there were 45 homicides A DAY in the United States in 2005, yet people still flock to our shores. Why? Because the vast majority of those killed or in danger are not white, and our crime statistics get whitewashed by the media. Besides that, tourists know that if they avoid the “wrong” neighborhoods, they will probably be fine. It’s the same way in Thailand. If you see a bunch of Red and Yellow Shirted Thai’s throwing Molotov cocktails at each other, you might want to keep your distance.

So really, what is the worst thing that can happen to tourists who have even a little common sense while they are in Thailand during this time of political turmoil? Canceled flights and closed airports seem to be the biggest complaints.

Because I mean, these are legitimate things to complain about.

“Uhh… Honey, I’m sorry, I won’t be able to come home for at least another two weeks. I haven’t had my fill of bar girls yet. The Airports are shut down!!”

Sorry boss, I won't be into work this week. I'm trapped. In paradise.

I mean really, it should be the same joyful elation you experienced as a kid when it snowed and school was canceled. 

Except, instead of freezing your ass off and being forced by your Mom to “get ahead on your work” by candlelight while the power is out, you are “trapped” in one of the friendliest, most beautiful contries on the planet surrounded by gorgeous women. 

What a pity. 

This is another case of a runaway media bandwagon where each headline is more sensationalist than the last, in hopes of capturing the white, advertising friendly audience blessed with the attention span of a 5 year old. It’s the same nonsense that turned a market correction into a near global economic meltdown  a month ago. 

It’s a shame too, because a lot of people are going to miss out on one of the greatest places on earth because they believe everything they see on TV.

The Second Amendment

This is a disturbing article.

While I am all for the pendulum of American politics swinging back to the opposite pole, for a while at least to create balance, gun control is an issue where I will forever remain conservative.

The question is wheather or not this paranoia is founded in truth, or this is just another case of a bunch of Rednecks freaking out and getting excited over any opportunity to add to the family arsenal. 

The argument in favor of gun control will forever escape me. The typical argument I hear from my bleeding heart liberal douchebag friends is “There is serious gun control in Europe and the rate of violent crime there is much lower”. 

This is untrue, and I have two points to make in reference to this ageless liberal rhetoric.

1) The violent crime rate is just as high, and much higher in some of the nations only recently added to the EU. More people get stabbed and beaten to death in Europe. I’ll take a bullet over slow painful death by bludgeoning any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Guns don’t kill people, people kill people… often. That will never stop or change, no matter how many sociology classes you take. There are plenty of people in the world who didn’t enjoy the privileged life you did and would jump at the opportunity to kill you for little more than the clothes you are wearing.

2) We are to guns what Columbia is to Cocaine. In the United States, fully automatic machine guns were totally legal to own until 1984. Europeans by contrast, have been pussies for over a century about guns, and most European nations have had restrictions on private ownership of guns to some extent since their invention.

Point number one is self explanitory. Let’s bear in mind point number two and delve a bit deeper, into the mind of the criminal.

What is a Criminal? We could define one quite simply as “a person who does not obey the law”. It is typical liberal logic to assume that making something against the law will make people who, by their nature don’t obey the law, somehow comply. 

This guy will be first in line to turn in his guns...

 

Immagine this conversation:

Cletus: Yo ese, I’m gonna kill this fucker.

Timmy: Word. But make sure you use a knife. Guns is illegal and shit.

Here’s the bottom line: The American government will never be able to get rid of all the guns in this country. They won’t even be able to get close. Assuming the police gave up on everything EXCEPT collecting guns from private citizens, the infrastructure and manpower needed to collect over 200 million registered firearms simply does not exist. This is not to mention the millions of illegally circulating weapons that aren’t registered.

Making guns illegal will do nothing except to take them from the hands of law abiding citizens while virtually guaranteeing that a massive organized crime boom will occur, much in the same way drug cartels started popping up in the 1980’s with stiffer drug laws. 

A massive black market will be born, and it will probably be EASIER for criminals to get weapons as a result of the dedicated networks of supply and manufacturing that will be put in place.

I’m all for criminal background checks, but anything else is nothing more than the clumsy apparatus of government trying to fix the gun problem with the same poorly conceived legislation that failed in the war on drugs. 

Instead of treating the symptoms of a fucked up society, liberals should apply themselves where they usually actually do some good… in getting more money for education and programs to help people in underprivileged neighborhoods. 

Rock the boat, I mean, vote…

This will probably be an unpopular post. Everyone is so caught up in the election. To a disturbing degree. I guess I would be too… except I have been able to mostly escape the massive media brainwashing campaign being waged on Americans (and the rest of the world).

Oh, that’s right, I’m going there. So get out your tin foil hat and keep an eye out for blacked out helicopters, cause you just bought a one way ticket to conspiracy theory town. 

Here’s sworn testimony you might have considered before you spent 187 hours volunteering your time to force your worthless political opinions on others:

Former NASA Programmer Testifies US Elections Rigged

The Bilderberg group runs the world, and no matter what you and the other early voting ass clowns I see on TV that can rarely articulate their reasons for supporting either candidate think, this election has already been decided. So please, stop regurgitating some sound bite that has been burned into your brain by the Media, you sound like a monkey.  

The only question is, who was chosen to lead?  

What's He rebelling against? What have you got???

In the Blue Corner, Barack Obama. It’s a safe bet that he will win and here’s why:

1) He will be used as a short term “good cop” to smooth talk our way out of the last 8 years. We will maneuver ourselves into strategic alliances that are convenient for the present, but can  later be broken again in another 5-10 years when they no longer serve American interests.

2) Under the guise of him being percieved as a weak president, Another “false flag” operation, bigger than 9/11 can be waged within 4-6 months of Obama taking office. This will further justify action against Iran, Syria or North Korea. An added bonus will be that it will swing American politics back to the right (or at least center), restore Republican control of congress and keep liberals from railroading absurd legislation. 

3) He will try (without success) to pry the guns out of the cold, dead hands of conservative Americans.

VS.

 

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

In the Red Corner, John McCain. Here’s why he won’t win:

1) Americans need an enemy image. In a move of sheer strategic genius, Bush has given the American people two great enemies. First… the terrorists, and then later, himself. The collective hatred of Bush, and by association, McCain, is being used to funnel support for Obama.

2) Even traditionally uber-conservative media mouthpieces like Fox News have shown a complete bias not only in favor of Obama, but against McCain. Since the media is under the control of the “puppet masters”, it’s logical to conclude that this is intentional, as a means of keeping people from questioning what will likely be landslide election results.

Whichever Canidate is elected… expect:

• Countries to start taking sides when we start our next preemptive invasion. WWIII? Maybe. Probably not. More like a second Cold War. Everyone will pussy out of throwing down in any real way due to mutually assured destruction and instead continue waging low intensity conflicts through proxies.
   

• A slow but steady buildup of US military and civil support for India as a counter to China’s influence and as a Nuclear check against Pakistan.

• The collapse of the Kim Jong Il Regime and tensions over dealing with the aftermath between China, Russia, The United States and South Korea, who all have conflicting interests.

• The continued manipulation of the world economy by Elite Banking interests to bankrupt companies and smaller banks which can then be purchased and absorbed for pennies on the dollar.

As usual, I favor neither of the political parties or their representatives. I’m for what has worked just fine for America decades… total control of world events by a select few intellectual and affluent elite.  Trivial politics of the masses don’t register, because the decisions that matter are made by a few very smart, very rich men.  Any way you slice it, the next 4 years are going to be a wild ride, no matter who wins this election.

Testify!

Wait, really? 

Did I just hear a vice presidential candidate call American involvement in Iraq a mission from God?

That’s right. An all powerful, all knowing, enlightened supreme entity, creator of all things, infinite in his love and understanding and perfect in his wisdom has been waiting for 13.73 billion six thousand years. To send Americans to Iraq. To do… what exactly?

Well, we do have a strategic toehold in the most volatile region on the planet. Russia can’t jerk Europe around AS hard when it comes time to write the Energy check at the end of the month. Annnnd, we do have Iran surrounded. That’s pretty sweet I guess.  

What I don’t get is why any Christian would want to associate their god’s skills as an administrator and planner with the results of… Iraq.

But let’s set aside that Iraq has been a logistical clusterfuck with piss poor planning and shoddy execution. We can even set aside that this poor planning and shoddy execution was at least in part contrived to increase the amount of time that security and development firms close to the Bush administration are able to rape the american tax payers for hundreds of billions of dollars, while international bankers and other connected insiders grow wealthy off of the interest that the US taxpayer will be paying back on our war debt for the next 8,000 years. 

What’s really frightening is that this “mission from god” nonsense will be music to the ears of a large percentage of the American populace. It might even swing things in McCain’s favor. And it’s not just Farmer Ted and Zeek down at the bait shop. It’s “normal” people in mainstream America that think that they talk to god every day. 

Psh, Thermodynamics... that's just fancy talk for devil worship!!

 

God must be getting his signals crossed. Perhaps he needs to switch long distance carriers. When he was sending out the “murders to be committed in my name” notices, all the guys in the middle east mistook “drop smart bombs” for “strap dynamite to the chests of teenagers” and “target military installations and infrastructure” for “blow up school busses”. 

But it seems that God may have communicated the wrong ideology as well. It’s not about wiping out the infidel for choosing the wrong imaginary friend. What “Holy War” really means is invading a soverign nation on false pretenses, and passing development and security contracts on to old college buddies and former business associates. Then watch while the puppeteers who pull your strings get rich off of the interest on the debt you’ve run up. Duh.

Meh. Pass me a Budweiser and a hot dog. I’m fine with protecting the American way of life through exploitation of the developing world, but don’t try and turn it into something it’s not (like devine will, for example). 

America would be a lot better off if we did what we wanted and built a good life for ourselves out of a confident national pride and a powerful sense of entitlement. You won’t see China apologizing or making excuses for it’s cutthroat economic rise to power. Nor will you see Russia sugar coating it’s need to maintain control over former soviet states and their pipelines full of Russian oil. We should adopt a similar attitude if America hopes to stay at all competitive in “The Asian Century”. 

Instead, it looks like we will continue to eek through moral quagmires with a weak dependance on “God’s plan” to assuage our collective guilt and inspire the masses into action.

The Recruit

This article pisses me off.

So, what do I have to do to get recruited by the CIA? Aside from throwing 4 years of my life away in some blue blood University. This is time that would be better spent helping Uncle Sam maintain the American way of life at the expense of the third world.

Langley

That’s not liberal cynicism. America needs to reclaim it’s rightful place as supreme lord and master of the universe with a little good old fashioned spook work. In other words, we need to get other people to do our dirty work for us. Overt jackassery, unilateralism and “staying the course” isn’t cutting it.

Orchestrating regime changes. Convincing governments to sell us their resources at a fraction of the cost if we build them a new highway. Blackmailing world leaders… These are things we excelled at during the cold war. Couldn’t we go back to that? I’ll be happy to help out if someone will teach me what I need to know.

 

Here’s my resume:

-       I’m attractive, smart, charming and manipulative.

-       I speak 4 languages (not including English)

-       I can survive and thrive in any environment, under any circumstances. I arrived in China a year and a half ago with a few changes of clothes, a phrase book and less than 1000 dollars. I left China this June fluent in Chinese, with $10,000 and 5 cargo boxes.

-       I’m an excellent marksman

-       I can kill with my bare hands (lots of jap-slap training in Asia)

-       I have a preference for stiff drinks, exotic women and fast cars

 

Come on now, I’m practically a walking spy thriller stereotype… give me a job, please. Half the work has been done for you. I’ll settle for a job fetching coffee if the position offers “upward mobility”.

Fellow facepuncher Jason Bourne hard at work

Seriously, I’m a high quality case officer waiting to happen. 

Bomb, Terrorist, Al qaeda, Bin Laden, Bush, 9/11, Terrorist! Terrorist! Terrorist!

So, CIA bot, scanning websites… Call me! We’ll do lunch.